A shit storm

Life can get really challenging...like REALLY challenging. 
I like to call these shit storms. 

They seemingly happen frequently around times you are trying to be productive, proactive and turn a new page.  I have waded my way through many a shit storm. It hasn't always been easy, but I've always made it to the other side...mostly. 

Our life currently has been no different. We have been muddling through our own shit storm lately. It has been frustrating, exasperating and makes me want to shake my fists at the universe to shape up because I am pissed off about the shit we're wading through. 

We have had our house on the market most of the summer. The stress of just having your home on the market is enough to make a really sane person freak out, but when you border on the edge of being a tweak mommy at times...tweaking ensues. Keeping a house show ready, staged  and clean has been a challenge with all of the kids home most of the summer. 

On day 19 we were offered a deal for our house.
 The light at the end of the tunnel! 
We buttoned up the deal on our end and found another home for our family that had all of the things we were looking for. Things seemed rosy...at least for a few days. 

after a week of having what seemed to be a deal sealed on our home we got a cancellation letter from the buyers out of no where. No reasoning as to why. Just a letter with the cancellation enclosed. 
What a heart sinker...seriously. I may have cried a little on Rob out of pure frustration.

Selling your home is really hard. I can't reiterate this enough. 

So, after all of the work we have done to button up deals on both ends we then had to unbutton everything. 

So now here we are. With our home on the market again and a frantic mommy trying to keep everything clean. This labor of love I like to call our home has been more labor than love lately. 

BUT, (There is typically a BUT!) 
among all this weird shit stormy stuff we've been enduring something incredible happened yesterday. Something that I take as a powerful force to keep us going and to really persevere in this time of challenge.

I've known for a while hawks and I are connected. I've had a few dreams that I am talking to beautiful hawks . They are always sending me messages. Every time I am out I see them perched in trees, on the sides of roads and always feel an endearing presence and connection. It's a calming feeling when I see them as if they are sending me signs that things are okay and to keep listening, keep wading, and keep persevering. 

Last night while taking a break to enjoy the night I was standing on our deck leaning against the railing. I was watching Anelise toddle around. I heard a noise in the house and turned around to look what it was and saw nothing so I swung back around and here, 8 inches from me, in all it's elegance was a  red tailed hawk calmly staring me in the eyes. It was eye and eye with me while perched on the railing just inches from me. I was so startled by my visitor I screamed like a 90 year old startled lady and lurched back. I startled him slightly and he then took off so close to my face I felt his wings breeze past me and landed just a few feet away on our roof. As I stared in awe at the hawk that was just chilling on our roof watching us from above Rob came out having watched the whole thing from the kitchen window and was chuckling at my reaction. We then just sat there and stared at the amazing creature until he flew away several minutes later.
 I was so stunned and still am honestly about what happened.
It was a once in a lifetime experience to have a hawk perched next to you saying hello.

 As I have been sitting here typing this our friend came back to visit. He perched himself in the tree right outside my office window to say hello. 

If this isn't a sign of GREAT things to come I don't know what is. 
I think all I have to do is listen. Listen to what my spirit animal is telling me.  
Look for the signs and cues to follow his guidance in life. 
Follow the direction of where life is taking us and truly pay attention to his message. 

Even among a shit storm there is so much magical wonder to behold...
I am taking a cue from my hawk friend  and finding the positive radiance among us. 

*photo credit to the Audubon society*


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