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Honoring your Shadow - Self Acceptance of the highest form.

Honoring your shadow. 
I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately. It speaks volumes to me.  In essence it's a mind set of accepting and honoring all parts of yourself. whether they are dark, light, good, bad or things you want to hide. 
Honoring oneself regardless of your shadows and darkness is true acceptance.  I used to hide those parts away from others. The darker parts of myself would stay behind closed doors only for the closest in my life to see...and sometimes they're not pretty. 
But, I feel as though it's a disservice to myself.  If I can truly accept and honor all parts of me, the darkness included, then I am truly and profoundly loving myself authentically. 
We all have shadows. We all have dark and emotional sides to us. We have learned from a young age that certain sides of us need to stay in hiding...especially in public. This, my such a sad reality. Not one person I know has always felt beautifully, perfectly acceptable and happy al…
Recent posts

A dream of compassion...and self care.

Today I woke up from a dream about compassion.  Compassion of another human being. 
In my dream I was at my lowest and feeling as though I had lost myself in motherhood. I had a free moment and on a whim stopped at a tattoo shop. There was only one tattoo artist there and he had a free moment. So I sat down in his chair and told him I wanted to fill my sleeve with his art. 
If anyone knows me, they know I love tattoos. I love the feeling of getting new ink not just because it is excitement of having a beautiful new art piece adorn your body, but also because the act of tattooing in itself has a complexity in it that you will have to endure a little bit of pain  in the process in order to create something beautiful that you'll love.  It's an addicting feeling. It's one that I liken to having a baby. There may be pain involved, but afterward there is something beautiful and worth showing off. 
As I sat down in this chair I looked up at this gruff man, who had seen years of …

When it rains, it pours.

Life can get really REALLY challenging.  I like to call these shit storms. 
They seemingly happen frequently around times you are trying to be productive, proactive and turn a new page.  I have waded my way through many a shit storm. It hasn't always been easy, but I've always made it to the other side...mostly. 
Our life currently has been no different. We have been muddling through our own shit storm lately. It has been frustrating, exasperating and makes me want to shake my fists at the universe to shape up because I am pissed off about the shit we're wading through. 
We have had our house on the market most of the summer. The stress of just having your home on the market is enough to make a really sane person freak out, but when you border on the edge of being a tweak mommy at times...tweaking ensues. Keeping a house show ready, staged  and clean has been a challenge with all of the kids home most of the summer. 
On day 19 we were offered a deal for…

Last winter I decided to shave my head...

A pretty forthright title, right?
Well, last November I shaved my head. I think it shocked quite a few people wondering why in the hell I would shave my head. I had nice hair...albeit ever changing. I think most people thought it was something "trendy" that I was doing to follow along with other radicals to give a big middle finger to society.  Although, I like that version because I am a rebel at wasn't my reason. 
Shaving my head was something I seriously contemplated for 2 years or more. I felt as though it would be healing in some way if I just released this outer idea of what I should be...  but I was scared...terrified of what others would say or think of me.
AND that, my friends is why I finally decided to buzz the whole thing off. 
We typically go through life secretly wanting others approval. We are constantly putting ourselves into these boxes by saying "Oh, that's not me..." or "Oh, I only wear my hair THIS way." or "Oh…

Where there is darkness, there is light.

As the allure of spring emerges with longer days and warmer temps many of us see the light at the end of this cold and temporary stark tunnel called winter.  Winter is a time for introspection, healing, rest and more than anything a time to settle into the ups and downs of emotions you may feel, because it's okay to feel those ups and downs. 
As I reflect back on this winter in particular, I have found it to be strange, tiresome and somewhat emotionally draining. 
I often pondered our miscarriage and what it meant to us as a family and me as a woman and mother.  I often asked myself what positive light could I take away from that situation. 
Truth be told, after you have a miscarriage you're not really sure how to feel, act, think or even speak at times. Just like the lack of information on actual miscarriage (that is REAL and RELEVANT), there is even less on how you feel and process what happened.  For many months after our miscarriage I would openly talk about it with littl…

Authentic, Authenticity and the self.

What does it mean to you?

Authentic. It's a word I've been mulling over lately in my noggin.  This word that comes up in my daily life while I'm reading, thinking, speaking. I ponder it so much sometimes I feel like I may go crazy searching for the true meaning in my life.
But, I won't. I promise...
 Maybe just a little. 
Authentic means real; genuine. Of undisputed origin. Not copied or false. True and accurate. 

In many ways my life feels a bit lacking. Some days I feel like it lacks true authenticity. The true nitty gritty authentic real and genuine stuff life is made of. Truth be told I've felt like a robot many times. Beeboopin' around cooking, cleaning, caretaking and bed timing every day. The genuine mom, partner and artist has seemed to vanish. The monotony of the daily grind has sucked me dry of my authentic, quirky, weird self.
It's a tragedy to feel that way...for anyone. Sometimes I feel like there is this mask over me and my entire l…

A Miscarriage Story.

Miscarriage.  It's a topic that seems emotionally charged, but also one that no one seems to talk about. 
Many women have endured a miscarriage of some sort, but have kept the experience hidden or quiet, like it wasn't worth sharing. I know of many women in my life who have had a miscarriage, but I have never heard anything beyond that. I know it's emotional and maybe it's too painful to talk about, but I also know when you talk about something it can ease the pain.

This topic is seemingly made small and lacks correct information if you have never endured a miscarriage yourself or talked to someone close to you who has.  During my miscarriage my husband had someone flippantly say to him "Oh, it happens all the time, it's not a big deal." The misinformation that this man held was outright ridiculous. To trivialize something large like losing a baby makes my cheeks flush with rage. 
Having a miscarriage is a heartbreakingly painful and emotional process to…